I'm not a member of New School in Exile, Radical Student Union, Student Action Defense Committee (although I support them) or any other silly organization. I'm a PISSED OFF individual who had a number of friends labeled as "terrorists" by the President of our school, and I'm concerned with the direction our school is going in general.

All of this information in this post is what I believe to be the Paul Harvey version of the story (minus advertisements) regarding recent events that I have pieced together from a number of reliable sources:

To clarify: I'm not a member of New School in Exile, Radical Student Union, Student Action Defense Committee (although I support them) or any other silly organization. I'm mildly misanthropic and too ADD to go sit through boring ass meetings. I'm a PISSED OFF individual who had a number of friends labeled as "terrorists" by the President of our school, and I'm concerned with the direction our school is going in general. I have nothing to hide from Kerrey's goon squad.

To summarize, these are the events of April 10:

There is a building on our “campus” at 65 5th Avenue which was being used mainly as a cafeteria and... well... shit... does anybody know any other uses for that borderlined condemned building? Long story short, 19 students where were NOT affiliated with any sort of group like RSU or New School in Exile occupied a building. A reporter from the New School Free Press said that they were going to take a Janitor as a hostage, this is a baldface, sickening lie. In an email sent out to the school, Bob Kerrey, the President of the New School, claimed that students broke in with crowbars. This is a lie. A student stayed in the building overnight and opened the door in the morning to let everybody in. Also, in the same email, Kerrey claimed that the students assaulted a security guard and sent him to the St. Vincent's Hospital. This is also a lie. The New School Free Press contacted the hospital, and there was no record of him being hospitalized on April 10th. Nobody from the school could provide any documentation of his hospital visit... hell, they couldn't even provide a wrist band. This is what happened: he tried to force his way in, students held the door shut to keep him out, and while the door was being closed he stuck his leg inside and it got slammed. The security guard was FINE. This is evidenced by the video taken later that night during a rally where he's seen assaulting a camera man. There's another lie. Kerrey also claimed they smashed a cash register, this is another lie. He also claimed they vandalized the building, this is also a lie. While painting signs, they spilled some paint. Their reaction? “OH SHIT!” and they cleaned it up to the best of their ability. Contrary to popular belief, the students had no demands.


When the first occupation happened back in December, Neil Gordon, Dean of Eugene Lang College and an all around nice guy, was called in to talk to the students. Eventually, Bob Kerrey came in and made some concessions, and the students left peacefully. On this instance, Kerrey made the unilateral decision to call his buddy Ray “Machine Gun” Kelly, Commissioner of the NYPD, on a “Code Cobra” which is a terrorist threat. That's right, a TERRORIST THREAT. It's widely believed among the academic communities that the police are called in for the most dire instances, such as a gunman on campus or somebody threatening to cause harm to themselves or others. In the instance of an occupation, it's usually the norm to let the students occupy the building until they get bored and leave. Remember, the occupation happened on Good Friday. If Kerrey had allowed the students to sit there over Easter weekend, get bored, and leave, the student body would have remained apathetic just like they were in December (in fact, I have met a number of students who had no idea that an occupation happened back then). Instead, this is what happened: over 100 police officers and HELICOPTERS showed up to the scene. The NYPD's spokesman denied the use of pepper spray, but there is video of officers preventing students from leaving the building by holding the door shut, opening it slightly, and spraying pepper spray in the door. A girl got the full force of the spray in her face. From what I've heard, she got it so bad that the students couldn't go near her without being severely irritated. Also, a student who was only there to see what was going on observed a police officer tackle a woman. He yelled “SHAME ON YOU” at the cop, and the officer responded by punching him on the face. A number of predators in blue then preceded to beat the shit out of him. The NYPD claims that he was “resisting arrest” but to me, the video looks like he's resisting getting his ass kicked. He looked like Harvey Dent after the Joker got done with him, still walks with a limp, and they didn't allow him to get medical treatment until he was arraigned the next day. If this doesn't make you want to throw a moltov at a police cruiser, this might: he wasn't there to protest, he was just stopping by and observed an officer assault a woman. His friend had been murdered and he was planning to attend the funeral that day. Instead, he was in jail. The students inside knew they were screwed, and allowed the officers to enter the building and arrest them. Expecting to see 60 armed “terrorists”, they instead found 19 mellow college students, sitting down in neat little rows waiting to be hauled off.

Other things to clarify:

Jim Miller, of one the chairmen of the faculty senate, sent out an email condemning the occupation because of an "undemocratic" manifesto that he read. Miller needs to get his facts straight before he spouts bunk about something he doesn't understand. I'm never taking any of his classes! This manifesto was written by New School in Exile in reference to their December occupation. The actions on Friday were not pulled off by New School in Exile, it was coordinated by a network of friends. That is why there were only 19 students involved. I know nearly half the people who were involved. None of them that I personally know wrote this piece of garbage. This does not speak for anybody other than the anonymous individual who wrote it. This mainly serves as a critique of the Radical Student Union because they like to squabble between each other when they should be united for a common goal, another reason why I don't join groups.

you can read the manifesto here: http://zinelibrary.info/new-school-occupation-0

To tie it up in a neat little bow: I'm honest with myself, I don't join groups because I am mildly misanthropic, dislike meetings, have a short attention span as well as being allergic to drama. Look no further on recent events with the debate team! We're in it together for the same goal: winning tournaments and getting national recognition, yet bullshit still went down. Just imagine if the debate team had various factions, such as a group wanting the team in general to run only K's while another faction wants the entire team to run only Disads + CPs. This is an analogy of he clashes between Exile and RSU's ideologies. Some people just want Kerrey to go, some people want a complete reformation of the school, others simply want more responsible investing As Alexander Hamilton famously stated (before Burr busted a cap his bitch ass): the masses are asses.

That's why this occupation went much smoother than the first one. There were less people, five of whom are some of my closest friends at this school. None are of them are fascists [well, except maybe the Platonist ;)] , and they were all equals inside. Because of the small numbers, this went much more smoothly (from what I've heard) than the first occupation because there was no squabbling between various factions. So, Jim Miller can shut the F up and cease being Kerrey's lapdog. It shows something when he sits with Linda Reimer (in charge of discipline) at the fustercluck forum last Monday.

Julien Studley, Chairman of the Trustees, sent out an email applauding Kerrey and supporting his authorization of police brutality on the students. This shows that Kerrey is not the root of the problem, but merely a figurehead. As long as these idiots remain on the board of trustees, nothing will ever change at our school. For the most part, these are a bunch of bourgeois morons who have no idea how a university should be run. Not all of them though, I hear Michael Gellert is cool. He's the only one who voted against the hiring of Kerrey in the first place.

On the other hand, the faculty (other than Jim Miller :P) has been very supportive of the students and I heart them all. The reason I came to this school is the wonderful faculty, and they have yet to disappoint <3.


After the occupation was crushed, security has been hiked up. Undercovers in the courtyard, Pinkertons on campus, security guards standing around looking like bad asses during RSU meetings. In fact, there was an undercover recording RSU's press conference, and when he was outed and told to GTFO there was another guard taking pictures of people's faces from behind the door. A detective followed one of the founders of SADCom from class to class. We had a street theater thingy where we did a reenactment of police brutality. I played the role of Bob Kerrey. Security took my ID from me when I re-entered the building and wrote my name down. Shit is fucked up here, Bob Kerrey's Machiavellian tactics are the REAL terrorism going on at our school. Current students should not be intimidated by this, in fact, we should be flattered that the administration fears us. I hope to see all of you at rallies supporting the students facing criminal charges in the near future. Prospective students should keep this in mind. Kerrey refuses to speak with us, and instead sends out emails full of lies and slanders us in the New York Post. If he comes to speak with y'all, ask him the hard questions. He'll refuse to answer, most likely, but this sorry excuse of a human being needs to be held accountable.

Check out these links for more information:

April Fools! Here is a FAQ on the occupation:
http://www.newschoolinexile.com/News/print/sid=31.html

New York Times Coverage, the top video shows the student getting beat up by the NYPD:
http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/04/10/students-occupy-new-school-building-again/?hp

An alternate timeline to the one Bob Kerrey sent out to the school in general:
http://nyc.indymedia.org/en/2009/04/104645.shtml

NY Post article where Bob Kerrey compares 4/10 to 9/11
http://www.nypost.com/seven/04112009/news/regionalnews/kerrey_rips_new_school_igans_163984.htm

Radical Student Union's Press Conference
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8zd-s5NL2o&feature=player_embedded

Videos from the rally we had on Thursday.
http://newschoolinexile.com/News/article/sid=51.html

AND an article about it:
http://news.infoshop.org/article.php?story=20090418173515337

Keep following this! http://www.newschoolinexile.com is a good site for this even though they are mad biased. There is also http://bob-kerrey.love.com/ which tracks news articles.

note: The point of this post is not to justify the occupation, the methods, or why it happened in the first place. It's to summarize what happened on Friday and open up discourse about the response to it perpetrated by Kerrey and the NYPD. The students who occupied had different reasons for doing so. Whether they were right or wrong, Kerrey's response was grossly inappropriate, and the outright lies he has told make me sick ... Read Moreto my stomach and hope that God really does exist so Kerrey can get what's coming to him on judgment day for what he's done in his life.

meet Bob Kerrey here: it talks about the occupation. I don't like how they dissed Lang though:

http://nymag.com/news/features/54685/

...and now, you know the rest of the story... GOOD DAY!

I debate.

Sometimes in drag.

Like last month at JV/Novice Nationals at Towson (outside of Baltimore).



We were running the "Queer Aesthetic". Queer meaning non-heteronormative, not gay. Heteronormativity is the idea that a man should have short hair, a woman should wear a dress, etc and if you don't fit these standards, you're "queer". As a longhaired "queer", I put on drag to create a disidentification with the heteronormative debate community. This is very long and difficult to discuss, if you want more information I'll email you the case as long as you promise not to give it to your respective college's debate team since we're running it next year ;). We faced Liberty (the school founded by Jerry Falwell's bullshit religious intolerance) and whooped them on everything... except I forgot to extend the link which fucked us in the end. It was a sad day for us, as my "hellbound" Jewish partner flipped her shit and wound up falling apart 1-3 on the first day. We were not looking so hot, but wound up going 2-1 the next day.

I didn't debate in High School, I think we had a 'program" but I don't know if they competed cuz I never heard of it, so I participated at the Novice level. The people I faced weren't very novicy, and my partner Tamar and I are since we only participated in two prior tournaments. We wound up going 3-4, a round short of breaking which is pretty damn impressive for our experience since we were going up against the top novices in the nation. Only one team was mad inexperienced... they were the first team we faced and it was their first tournament. I felt soooooooo bad for them when I saw the expression on their face when I walked into the room in drag and lipstick. Oh lawd. The round was over by the time I gave my first speech cuz they dropped the framework (that's how a judge should vote) we put forth, and our framework was who best subverts heteronormativity. Since I was a man in a dress (as well as my partner wearing shorts with a penis on them) we won on that since they didn't dispute it and failed to subvert heteronormativity. We lost four straight after that (two due to BULLSHIT, one because I fucked up, and one because Tamar was dead on the inside due to losing to Liberty on bullshit and the team we faced were mad talented). We won our last two, including a masterpiece we painted against Southern Methodist. Not only did we win, but I got PERFECT SPEAKER POINTS (based on individual performance) for channeling Dennis Kucinich and Malcom X. The judge not only loved our argument, but she said my closing argument was the best she heard ALL WEEKEND... and it was the last round and she'd been judging the Junior Varsity level... DAMN! Perfect scores are rarer than an albino in debate. I checked the results and only two other people in novice got a perfect score in a round. One was a girl who cried in the middle of the round thanks to the girl pictured above me... so I'm pretty sure there was only one LEGITIMATE perfect score during the weekend. Nice.

As a result of my awesome performance, I was awarded 15th top speaker, which is represented in the trophy/pitcher I'm holding in the above picture. This is out of over 120 people all over America. I haven't been so proud of myself since winning the state championship at DECA Senior Year. Shit... that was five years ago! Kaylin, Cheryl... are we having a reunion? I don't know!

Here are more pictures:

Me and my debate partner, Tamar, mid-round. Tamar had just found a liquor store nearby, so she made an impact calculus (debate shit) on the whiteboard about how finding the liquor store prevents Nuclear War while we were waiting for the other team and judge to show up.


me, at the awards ceremony. my boobs are sagging severely. haha look at her face she doesn't know what the f is going on.

In prefacing this, I will probably use at least excerpts of this in my senior thesis on how the concept of "fashion" is undermining our society by creating class wars, destroying our environment and economy. This is what I'll probably use as a case study or some shit like that.

I have worn flannel during the majority of my life. I wore it in elementary school, I used to button that shit down and rock that in middle school, and wear it almost daily from the months of October-April. I usually get a nice new flannel shirt from my Mom either for my birthday or Christmas. In fact, I have received flannel for the past three consecutive Christmases from my mother. As you can see, flannel is part of my life and being. Jim Freeman is flannel, and flannel is Jim Freeman. Flannel is one of my essentials, I couldn't imagine life without wearing flannel. It would be like Captain America without his shield, Hunter S. Thompson without his sunglasses, or Richard Pryor without a crack pipe.

So you could see my shock and disgust when yesterday this rich girl (designer clothing, Louis Vitton bag, AND her parents own THREE houses) from my school made the statement that she "hates everybody who wears flannel". I should note that she was drunk and I was sober, so I kind of had an inherent logical advantage over her.

Here is some background information on why she hates flannel. I'm gonna go all sociologist on y'all right now:

There is a subculture called "Hipsters". They are very populous in parts of New York, specifically the Williamsburg neighborhood of Brooklyn, and I've been told that the New School is the "Most Hipster School" in New York. Now, what is a Hipster? I find them much harder to define than a "dudebro" or a "hippie". I personally consider them the spawn of Yuppies, or Yuppies themselves, who wear American Apparel, go to art school, and have an interest in being "ironic" by dressing like a dork. I don't know why, but either flannel is "retro" now that the grunge thing was over 15 years ago, or because it's what rednecks and working class types wear, and so hipsters have embraced the look. So, by default, I wear flannel and therefore people judge me to be a "hipster" even though I wear flannel because I live in cold weather, find it comfortable, and have working class roots.

This is from my student newspaper, the New School Free Press. The article is titled "Fashionista Slams Flannelists"
it can be found on page 13 here: http://www.newschool.edu/uploadedFiles/Lang/News_and_Events/Issue%206%20Final%20for%20Editors%2012.7.08.pdf

"Getting off the subway last week, I noticed a haggard looking woman sitting on the steps of the Fulton
Street subway stop. Dressed in flannel and needing to wash her matted hair, she held a coffee cup. Remembering the quarters in my pocket, I tossed a handful into her cup. Coffee splashed all over the woman as she looked up at me yelling some very unthankful words. Now, I know self-righteous flannelists may claim she was actually homeless, but looking back, her micro buffalo check garment said
otherwise. After speed walking my way out of the awkward situation, I began to think about how I managed to get myself into such an unpleasant position: in a city where the rich are even stealing fashion from the poor, you can’t tell the difference between the hobos and the hipsters. I don’t have a problem with people who think it’s trendy to look poor. If you want to spend $60 of your parents’ money to buy a shirt that my grandpa wears, be my guest. I do however have a problem with spoiling beverages because of constantly being surrounded by contrived-faux-homeless fashion. I use my precious quarters for the laundry the both of us should be doing.

Upon further research I have found I’m not the only one who holds this opinion. Parsons student
Gabrielle agrees, “That happened to me too. Sometimes you don’t know if they are trendy students pretending to be homeless to make some money or actually homeless.” Apparently the trendy-homeless-looking students are fully aware of the confusion they cause and have actually started to partake in homeless activities to make a few extra dollars. “I’m done giving money to kids with fake signs and big bank accounts,” continued Gabrielle. Congratulations flannelist, you look filthy and managed to steal my money.

So where’s the solution? I’m not naïve enough to think you flannel wearing goons are going to stop looking homeless or stop trying to make some extra cash. In fact, some of you look good in a dirty
shirt and a scruffy beard, but we need some rules. Perhaps people with homes could refrain from sitting
on subway steps and put a lid on their coffee or maybe with all of the extra cash you’ve earned, we
could give the homeless a makeover. I do know that if some quarter-throwing fool ruins your delicious
morning coffee, you should probably take a shower. Not that I don’t skip a shower now and then, but if you can smell you, I can smell you."

First off, I do not pay $60 for flannel. I think the most I've ever paid was $16 and it was some DAMN nice flannel. Second, this girl is a four letter word, incredibly elitist and classist, and OH THIS GIRL (Ashley Wanamaker) BETTER PRAY SHE NEVER MEETS ME. Finally, I do not pretend to be homeless and nobody would think that I was homeless because I wear flannel. I do shower though. This article makes me sick that there is a large body of students like this at my school (well, mainly Parsons)

Fast forward to the girl who hates everybody in flannel. I was not wearing flannel last night, but I did share that I've worn flannel my entire life and refuse to cease wearing it simply because a bunch of dorks wear it as a mockery of blue collar culture. Here is how the conversation went afterwards:

her: But you see, that's okay because where you come from it's cold and you've worn flannel your entire life. you're okay for wearing flannel!

me: so, what if you didn't know me and my background? what if you saw me on campus and I was decked out in flannel?

her: I'd think you're a fucking hipster and hate your guts.

me: BUT THAT"S THE THING! You can't assume that a person is a hipster because they wear flannel! They might be wearing flannel because they're an urban lumberjack or just poor white trash from the Midwest, like me.

her: I love you.

I get that a lot

here are a couple of things that happened since I last posted (in no particular order other than what comes to mind):

moved to Brooklyn, New York
found a reasonably priced apartment NOT provided by a Catholic Pastor serving in Nigeria
went to the ER
fell down three flights of stairs (this is unrelated to the ER visit)
gained five pounds, then lost seven
was the smash hit of the New York City Halloween Parade with my Joe the Plumber costume

Ed McMahon and the Publisher's Clearing House found me and presented me with a check for $250,000
Helped elect a terrorist sympathizing socialist islamic fascist for President who is going to steal your hardworking tax dollars and give it to black people because he happens to be half-black... and couldn't be prouder.
Discovered that the horse that George Washington rides on in Union Square is anatomically correct (Like Kaitlin Davidson's tattoo!)
Sat in on 9th and 10th grade global history classes at a High School on the Lower East Side of Manhattan
Spent $70 at the bar and didn't catch a buzz
Discovered that Jewish women are some of the most beautiful in the world
Found out that large metropolitan areas have things I like to call "free liquor parties"
Saw the Cubs and New York Giants both choke in the playoffs
Worked at a chocolate shop for a little over a month
Ruptured an ear drum
Worked for the ACLU for one day
Witnessed the beginnings of by far the largest recession of my lifetime
Missed out on the Fest VI because I pay three times as much in rent than I did the year before
Got eliminated from a debate tournament because my judge knew my evidence more than me or either of my partners because he was banging a member of our debate team and he got us on a technicality. salt to the wounds were that our opponents were white trash white supremacists from New Jersey who referred to Africa as a "nation"
got fucked over by the MTA approximately 63 times
Developed a strong hatred for the New School's administration
Realized that just because I go to a nicer school than I did before, idiots still get in... the only difference is they have richer parents.
Learned to dislike "Project Runway" even though I've never seen an episode
Saw the Cubs beat the Mets in extra innings.
Got hit on by one of the cast members of the reality TV show "Bad Girls Club"
Lived off on peanut butter and jelly pancakes and pasta for a month
Went on a date with a D-list actress, but then she realized I was a nerd.
Had my neighbor from Vicksburg (Jeff Bladt) move here.
Found out that one of my friends from WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY back (Rachelle Bennett) is moving here, too
Learned never to jump a turnstile thanks to William Jacques.
Finally had my hair grow back to the point where I no longer needed to wear a hat to hide my shame
Saw the worst VP Candidate since Dan Quayle get picked... and I'm not talking about Cynthia McKinney's choice of Rosa Clemente.
Dweezil died and I spent two days not leaving my bedroom and crying, which happens as often as Michigan State beats Michigan in football.
Gained a disdain for the New York Media without having to be a celebrity.
Michigan State beats Michigan in football.
Got a B+ in a class taught by a teacher who doesn't believe in grades, which robbed me of a straight A semester
Saw people freak out over an inch of snow
Had a flight canceled on Christmas for the second time in my life


recently
Came back to Michigan
Renewed my hatred for dudebros
Blacked out on New Years
Saw Dirty play beer pong with beer bottles instead of ping pongs
Experienced two feet of snow without it being to top news story on every local media outlet... and it's still snowing
Turned 23
Hung out with my friends in Kalamazoo on a night where they determined that they weren't going to drink. After sitting around for a couple minutes in silence other than a couple "I'm bored" statements, we pooled our money together and bought a half gallon of vodka.
Got snowed in and went six days without bathing, which I believe is a personal record.
Caught up with the Kalamazoo drama
Saw Matt Motzell, who I love pretty much the most that you can love a person without having sex with them.
Bought new glasses
Remembered why I left here in the first place.

That's about it, I'm pretty sure I left out a couple dozen things.

here is the typical response I get when I respond to a reasonably priced apartment on Craigslist:

Calvary grettings to you and may the blessing of the lord be upon you and your
family,My name is Reverend Roger the owner of the 3 bedroom home and its
located Lenox Ave & W 113th StNew York, NY 10026Lenox Ave & W 113th St New York, NY 10026 and also want you to know that i am a pastor and the name of our church is Cathlic Church it was due to my transfer that makes me my and wife and Son Kim, Matthew, & Sara to leave
the house and also want to give it out for rent and looking for a responsible
person that can take very good care of it as we are not after the money for the rent but want it to be clean at the time and the person that will rent it to
take it as if it were its own. So for now, We are here in west Africa, our new
house and put all my worries off concerning the maintenance of the apartment
for, since i am not residing there for now.I left behind some Facilities and
electonics which include the rent, and a DVD player, air conditioning, alarm
system. The kitchen is fully equipped with all necessary cooking utensils,
arefrigerator-freezer, four-hob and oven, microwave,dishwasher and washing
machine, My Computer Connected with Internet Acess Also the keys to the House are right here with me, and the lease document. Which i can send to you after all necessary agreement has be accepted. Also i will like you to know
that the rent charges is not really the issue ,but your absolute maintenance of
my apartment is most important thing so will want you to get back to me with the
Application form below
RENT APPLICATION FORM
1)Your Full Name
2)Your Full Address & Phone Number
3)How old are you?
4)Are you married?
5)How many people will be living in the house?
6)Do you have a pet?
7)Do you have a car?
8)Occupation?
9)When do you want to move in
10How long do you want to stay in my apartment
11 Pictures of all the Occupant that will stay in my apartment
12. Reasons for moving out of your current Home
One Mr Brasson called me about the apartment,I told him that I can't give
him the apartment because he loves smoking,drinking and dont want him to get
drunked and damaged my property destroy them and i dont want that to happpen,
so If you are still interested, Note that the rent is going to be $1500 Per
month No extra fees.I will like you to give me a call on this effect to know
how serious you are.
I personally will actually come visiting you sometimes during the year as our
new tenant.
Looking forward to hear from you with all this details so that i can have it in
my file in case of issuing the receipt for you and contacting you. Await your
urgent reply so that we can discuss on how to get the document and the keys of
the house to you. The address of the house is Lenox Ave & W 113th St New York, NY 10026

Thanks
Reverend roger

HOUSE AMENITIES IS BELOW
Amenities:
Appliances:Free Internet
Dishwasher
Dryer
Electric Stove
Freezer/Deep Freeze
Fridge
Microwave
Washer
Washer/Dryer Hookups
Included in Rent:
Water/Sewer
Parking:
Garage
Outside Lot
Street
Building:
Security Alarm/Door
Interior:
ABOUT ME
Pastor Roger Rubben came to Catholic Church OF Nigeria 2 years ago. At that time there were 8 church members. Since then the church has seen such growth that we are now looking to build a larger facility. Brother roger received the Holy Ghost at age 16. He is tireless in his work to reach out to others and touch lost souls. He served many years as a Youth Pastor & other church positions. He is retired from the military & serves on our town water board. He has many friends from all walks of life who admire him for what he stands for. He & Sis Toney have 3 children: Kim, Matthew, & Sara. They are the very proud grandparents to 7.

He kindly provided attachments of a fat white guy and woman holding a bible. As well as another picture of the same fat white guy. There are also photos of the apartment, which looks worth way more than $1,500 a month.

Red Flag #1 He's Catholic. There are no Catholic "Pastors", they're Priests, and they certainly are NOT allowed to marry and have children (unless adopted).
Red Flag #2. He speaks amazingly shitty English for being a fat white "Pastor".
Red Flag #3. He gave me his cell phone number, it wasn't a New York number.
Red Flag #4: I'm certain the "necessary arrangements" include me mailing him thousands of dollars overseas via Western Union or some other similar service.

I'm going to be living in a cardboard box, I know it

(from Time Magazine)

"Tell the governor he just lost my vote."

-CHRISTOPHER EMMETT, right before his death by lethal injection. Emmett argued that Virginia's execution methods were unconstitutional and Gov. Tim Kaine declined to intervene

favorite albums by year from 1965-2008

1965 - Bob Dylan "Highway 61 Revisted"
1966 - The Mothers of Invention "Freak Out!"
1967 - The Velvet Underground "The Velvet Underground and Nico"
1968 - The Beatles s/t "White Album"
1969 - The Kinks "Arthur or the Fall and Decline of the British Empire"
1970 - CSNY "Deja Vu"
1971 - David Bowie "Hunky Dory"
1972 - Big Star "#1 Record"
1973 - Neil Young "Time Fades Away"
1974 - Neil Young "On The Beach"
1975 - THREE WAY TIE: Neil Young "Zuma" Bob Dylan "Blood on the Tracks" Bruce Springsteen "Born to Run". Good year for music.
1976 - Rush "2112"
1977 - Television "Marquee Moon" (narrowly beating out the much more successful "Bat Out of Hell)
1978 - Devo "Q: Are We Not Men? A: We Are Devo!"
1979 - Neil Young "Rust Never Sleeps"
1980 - Rush "Permanent Waves"
1981 - Black Flag "Damaged"
1982 - The Descendants "Milo Goes to College"
1983 - Dio "Holy Diver"
1984 - Really good year for music! Husker Du "Zen Arcade", The Replacements "Let it Be", Minutemen "Double Nickels on a Dime", Black Flag "My War", and Meat Puppets "II"
1985 - Tie between The Replacements "Tim" and Camper Van Beethoven "Telephone Free Landslide Victory"
1986 - Paul Simon "Graceland". There were some really good albums that came out this year. It's also the year I was born B)
1987 - Dinosaur Jr "You're Living All Over Me"
1988 - Pixies "Surfer Rosa"
1989 - Fugazi "13 Songs"
1990 - Pixies "Bossanova"
1991 - Tie between My Bloody Valentine "Loveless" and The Melvins "Bullhead"
1992 - Green Day "Kerplunk!"
1993 - Archers of Loaf "Icky Mettle"
1994 - Sebadoh "Bakesale"
1995 - Smashing Pumpkins - Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness
1996 - Weezer "Pinkerton"
1997 - Marcy Playground "Marcy Playground". This was a really shitty year for music. Dinosaur Jr also disbanded this year, coincidence?
1998 - Hum "Downward is Heavenward"
1999 - I'm going to use 1999 to say that the music of the late 90s sucked in general. Not just music-wise, this was the beginning of the decline of the American civilization.
2000 - Johnny Cash "Love, God, and Murder"
2001 - Fugazi "The Argument"
2002 - Johnny Cash "American IV: The Man Comes Around"
2003 - The Ergs! "Dorkrockcorkrod"
2004 - Brian Wilson "SMILE"
2005 - Neil Yong "Prairie Wind"
2006 - Neil Young "Living With War"
2007 - Dinosaur Jr. "Beyond"
2008 - Lemuria "Get Better"

Yes. I like Neil Young.

I've been working on a hot new television show on Kalamazoo Public Access. It's called Insomniac Guerrilla and airs at midnight on varying days of the week (we're aiming for Wed, Thurs, and Fri). I can liken it the best to Saturday Night Live minus the live and on weeknights. I'm sure the five or six people who watch it thoroughly enjoy it. So far, I play a paranoid schizophrenic's crooked lawyer and one of the world's worst terrorists. I interrogate a KFC manager for the Colonel's recipe. My main job is to schedule the musical guests and get them in the studio for a performance. So far we've shot Matt Motzell doing some solo acoustic songs, Off With Their Heads (from Minneapolis!), Half Hell Half Assed (the guitarists from All Hell doing an acoustic set), and Fishlips. Coming soon in the studio are Orange Taylor, Hell or Highwater, All Hell, and MAYBE YOU! Seriously, hit me up. I'm going to start recording bands in NYC once I hit the studio, send it back to the producer, and air the finished product on NYC Public Access. That's when I'll make it big B).

Speaking about New York, I'm moving in less than a month. Shit! I still don't have anywhere to live. Maybe a cardboard mansion? I can not begin to find words to express how much I want to get out of the lonesome crowded Midwest and meet people different who don't look and think alike (plastic people, whoaaah baby you're such a drag!). My ideal move in date would be the 18th, which would give me a week to get used to the city before orientation starts the week afterwards. I won't have any idea what classes I'm taking until then. That's kind of stressful. My major is "Liberal Arts" so it's pretty much whatever the hell I want to take... I'm pretty sure. I'll figure it out with some adviser and probably wind up taking a bunch of classes I don't want to take because it seems like they love to screw over transfers.

In case you're curious (you're probably not) I changed my mind on my future career once I'm done with college.



yeah, I thought it would be cool to go to Law School, get a JD, and fight the system as an ACLU laywer or something cool like that. Forget that, too much work, and unless I want to be sleazy and not be able to sleep at night, I won't be able to pay off what will wind up being a crippling amount of debt. Then, I figured I'll eventually get disbarred after telling somebody to "fuck off" in court.

So, I thought to myself, "what would I be really good at while still making a decent living without having to worry about the state of my soul?" It came to me: I could be a college professor! I quickly looked at my favorite subjects and found out the Political Science pays out the best. Well, I'll be damned, it looks like I'm going to be one of those liberal college professors that your Mom warned you about*. I probably won't even need to get my Doctorate right away, because Barry O has been talking about a $4,000 tax credit** for people going to college. That would easily make Community College free for everybody. This would me a stupid amount of jobs opening for people, and you need a government class in order to get any sort of degree. The job market's about to explode. While teaching at some CC part-time, I could work on my doctorate and eventually get a cushy job at a REALLY sweet school.

So yeah, another reason to vote for Obama: to get me a job so I can pay off my debt :)

*If your Mom listened to conservative talk radio
**It's called the American Opportunity Tax Credit. Read about that on page ten of this document: http://obama.3cdn.net/c16add4876056665c7_i42mvyxby.pdf

So we can add "Shooting pets" to the list of offenses recently committed by the Kalamazoo Public "Safety" Department, along with receiving blowjobs from prostitutes, beating up drunk people, harassing the homeless, taking illegal side jobs, and constantly arresting and harassing Boombox Ronnie for bullshit reasons.

http://blog.mlive.com/kzgazette/2008/07/dog_owner_asks_for_answers_aft.html

This makes me sick.

In a month, I will be taking a train with a one way ticket to New York City. I can not begin to express my excitement about such a wonderful thing. After living in the cultural black holes of West Michigan and Mississippi, I'm moving to the greatest city on Earth. I don't care if I know only three or four people, that is way more than I knew prior to moving to Mississippi. My biggest fear is finding affordable housing.

What do I leave behind? A dying cultural wasteland that is desperately gentrifying it's downtown at the expense of the residents and it's nightlife? A local economy that entered the "depression" phase of the cycle way before that nation. A homogeneous populace? I've only met one full blooded Jewish person here along with a couple Muslims.

What am I anticipating? A vibrant, lively city where I can go somewhere different every day for years and still have new, exciting things to experience. Money doesn't matter to me, but plentiful jobs where I can hopefully pay the exorbitant rent needed to live here. A diverse, bustling populace that (hopefully) embraces those differences between them.

I can't wait!

*and anybody else who is possibly voting McCain this November.

I know you read this occasionally.  Your daughter has informed me that she is very worried about you living in Georgia too long because you have been voicing your approval for John McCain*.  I distinctly remember in 2005, we had a conversation about how you really regretted voting for George W. Bush in the 2004 Election.  I'm sure your husband knows better, and so I don't feel the need to address him.

I'm here to stage an intervention for you on behalf of the only cousin I have on my Mom's side.  Electing John McCain would be another four years of the same old shit that we've been served courtesy of the neocon whackjobs running our country since 2001.  McCain is a slimy one, and I'm sure he's done a good job convincing you that he's a MAVERICK and not like George W. Bush with bold statements like "Global Warming is real!" and calling his conservative colleagues "assholes" on the senate floor.

This is not true.  While he may be more moderate than Cheney and co., he is still a warmonger.  In fact, Pat "Salad Dressing Face" Buchanan has stated that McCain's aggressive stance against Syria, Iran, North Korea, and China makes Cheney look like Gandhi.  Senator Thad Cochran (R-MS) said that the thought of somebody like McCain (who is famous for his temper) sends shivers down his spine.

Charlotte, I implore you to think twice and do some research before voting for somebody who is Episcopalian in the North, but Baptist in the South.  He's a two-faced unpredictable slimebag who flip flops so much John Kerry is accusing him of it.  Any well reasoned American should not trust him.  He called out Mitt Romney in the debates for not considering waterboarding torture, and months later he voted against a bill that would ban waterboarding and applauded a Bush veto of it.  This is seriously messed up! *My Mother agrees.

On Monday, U.S. Rep Dennis Kucinich, who you might remember as the guy I endorsed as President before the Michigan primary (he finished in third place), filed 35 articles of impeachment.  Since the major media isn't paying attention to it (read: Bush is not going to be impeached.  Believe it or not. some people are actually above the law), here it is for you to read:
Initially, I thought this was great.  Finally somebody from Congress was stepping up to the executive overreacher.  Unfortunately, my former Political Science teacher from KVCC pointed out that this would be okay any other year, but not during an election year because the party needs to stand up and look united in order to put the first minority in office in US History. 

Now, I don't think the actions of a libertarian-socialist US Rep from Ohio has anything to do with the chances of a articulate young mulatto man who is running up against an elderly white millionaire who changes his stance on issues (including his own religion) depending on what region of the United States he's in.  Then again, a good chunk of Americans are dumb enough to be influenced negatively by this.

It's a case of too little, too late.  Mainly I think it's to prevent an invasion of Iran.  It will be tabled much like the articles of impeachment he filed against Dick Cheney last year.  The timing is too close to the election and Congress is too weak & too cowardly to do anything about it.

As I mentioned earlier, Tiger Woods dissed hockey. Asked who he thought would win the Stanley Cup, Woods quipped "I don't really care, it's all about the Dodgers. I don't think anyone really watches hockey anymore." Dear Tiger: Over 6 million people tuned into game six, and I'm one of them.

Former defender and General Manager turned analyst Mike Milbury had this comeback, "You know what? I'm gonna change the name now. It's gonna be Tiger Wuss. Here's a guy that took about three months to get over a simple arthroscopic surgery. You look at Ryan Malone. His face exploded with a slap shot [which broke his nose for the second time in that series] last night -- he's back out in 10 minutes! Keep your yap shut, Tiger, or I'll send a couple of wingers down there--Gary Roberts--to tidy you up a little bit, meathead."

Mad Mike is a bad ass. One time, as a player, he jumped into the stands to beat the shit out of a heckler with the heckler's own shoes. Tiger Woods is a spoiled pencilneck geek. With all the talk about how athletes are overpaid, Woods makes more than $128 million a year. That's TEN MILLION more than what the CHICAGO CUBS make. That's fifty million than what the Red Wings and Penguins make COMBINED. Hockey teams play 82 regular season games a year, baseball teams make more money because they play 162 games a year. Woods played in 16 tournaments last year. Next time you hear somebody complaining about Alex Rodriguez making $29 million a year, you can point out that at least he earns his paycheck by busting his ass 154+ games a year since 2001 and makes $100,000,000 less than some nerd named Eldrick.

Ok, now here's the other argument. Golf is not a sport. If you consider golf a sport, then Marching Band is a sport, at least moreso than golf. Golf was invented by Scotsmen because it was too hard to play soccer after drinking a fifth of whiskey unless you're George Best, so instead they drive around in a cart and hit little balls into a hole wasted out of their mind. It's not a sport if you can play it wasted. I don't play golf, mainly because I don't want to spend over $100 on a set of clubs. That's another thing, if you have to pay hundreds of dollars for equipment it's not worth playing. I play disc golf instead, but I don't call it a sport. I call it a good excuse to drink a six pack out in the woods and hang out with your friends. If I was really good disc golfer and did it professionally, I wouldn't consider myself an athlete, I'd consider myself lucky that people are dumb enough to pay money to watch me do something really good.

Now let's look at baseball. One of the hardest things in the world is hitting a 100 MPH fastball. I sure as hell couldn't do it, my eyesight's so bad I strike out in slow pitch softball once a year (seriously! no more, no less). In golf, you're hitting off a tee. I haven't hit off a tee since I was in Kindergarten. Hell, I couldn't even read back then. They used to have golf carts in the bullpen for fat asses like Todd Jones back in the day, but they became obsolete. Those are all the comparisons I can make between golf and baseball. Tiger Woods does not deserve to make nearly $100,000,000 more than the highest compensated baseball player.

There is no comparison between hockey and golf. Ice Hockey is one of the most physically demanding sports in the world. It combines both types of football, in that you have to get an object in the goal while people are trying to hit you. Combine that with a near frictionless surface and sticks necessary to move the puck, and you have a fast paced, hard hitting sport that requires skill, speed, and toughness to survive. The conditioning program that these athletes go through is the toughest in professional sports and they must train year round to keep in shape. What will get you ejected from any normal sport will usually get you 2-5 minutes in a penalty box. You have to commit a felony to get ejected from a game. Not to mention there's an armored guy who can do the splits preventing you from getting the puck into the goal. The only thing Woods has to worry about is flash photography, and he has a caddy to go around and smash the offending cameras.

In conclusion: Tiger Woods, shut the hell up! Be appreciative that you're getting paid more than Fortune 500 Company CEO's to play a shitty, boring sport that even the fattest, laziest, and stupidest people in the World and quit talking shit about a sport whose fans, let alone athletes, could kick your ass before somebody takes that silver spoon you have in your mouth and sticks it up your ass.

I'm not going to lie. I'm in terrible shape.

Not as bad as in High School, when I weighed a tad over 230 pounds at my worst (11th Grade) and had a beer gut... which is peculiar because I didn't drink beer... and now I do! Out of nowhere, I dropped 80 pounds over two years after graduation, going down to a paltry 155 pounds in the summer of 2006. This was a combination of multiple things. The first in foremost was ceasing to eat fast food unless I'm traveling and cutting down on drinking pop. Living in Kalamazoo meant that I could walk everywhere I wanted to go, whereas in Vicksburg I drove everywhere to get where I needed (mainly to Kalamazoo!). Also, my job in Adult Foster Care for middle-aged mentally handicapped adults kept me physically active and I'd even exercise with them during their exercise time when I felt like it. Once I moved to Mississippi, the weekly all you can eat fried chicken buffet coupled with doing the shopping for my grandparents and myself put me up to 180. For the past year or so, I've been stuck around 175 pounds. That puts my body mass index at 21.3. The normal weight range is 18.5-24.9, which means I'm at an ideal weight for a person my height.

Considering that 34% of Americans are overweight, and 30.5% are obese, I should be happy that I'm healthier than over half of Americans. Unfortunately, I can't settle for just that because that doesn't mean I'm healthy, it just means that Americans are fat lazy slobs who can't control their appetite. Honestly, if I wasn't blessed with my rabid metabolism, I'd be in the ranks of fatties. I watch what I eat, right before I shove it all into my gob. I think "diet" foods are disgusting, and eat whatever I feel like eating. I estimate that I have to eat over 3,000 calories a day to prevent myself from losing weight, despite being relatively inactive. I can eat four cheeseburgers or an entire freezer pizza in one sitting. Now that I made you feel jealous, I'll go on with my current situation.

I have no stamina at all. After my car accident, I haven't done any sort of exercise out of fear of making my back or neck feel worse. That's nearly two months of sitting around the house and not doing ANYTHING. After a month of physical therapy, my neck is relatively pain-free and I can almost turn my head all the way to the left! My love handles are trying to make a comeback, and I've always had the build of a gourd (read: I HAVE A FAT ASS). Now is the time to get into shape.

Today, I decided I was going to run a mile. Now, keep in mind the last time I ran a mile was when they forced me to in High School Phys Ed. I don't remember my time, but it wasn't pretty. I threw on my NMU hockey shirt and underarmour (TM) shorts and ran over to my High School's track. The fences were locked. Great! My High School spends well over four million dollars on a football stadium/track and I can't use it. My tax dollars at work. So I just ran past the tennis courts (which were open) to the Shell station. By then, I was winded and walked to the Administration Building, then ran to Clark Park. Walked through the park and then tried running home*. Unfortunately, I felt like somebody had shanked me in the lower abdomen and wound up walking home in severe pain. For about 20 minutes, I felt like throwing up. I'd estimate that I ran about half a mile. This is going to suck.

Tomorrow, I'm going to try riding my Mom's small brown bike (not to be confused with the post-hardcore band) down the bicycle trail. I think it's approx six miles there and back, but I've always preferred biking over running. I'm also going to (shudder) incorporate pushups, jump rope, jumping jacks, squat thrusts, and situps. Like I said, I'm not trying to lose weight--I am trying to increase my strength and stamina. If you know any good sites or books to check out, let me know!

*this probably means nothing to you if you're not from Vicksburg.

What's amazing is that he wasn't even the starting goalie at the beginning of the playoffs, despite being an All Star. That save he made as time expired was amazing.



There's some great stories that came out of this. Dallas Drake was playing in his first finals, he's 36. Another old man, Darren McCarty, was sitting around his house, broke and depressed, at the beginning of the season. Lidstrom is the first European Captain to lead his team to the Cup, six years after being the first Euro to win the Conn Smythe trophy for Playoff MVP. Another Euro won that this year in Henrik Zetterberg, who I would argue is the most complete forward in the NHL. He helped kill TWO 5-3 penalties in the series while breaking the single season franchise record for points scored in the playoffs. The Red Wings are the best Sports Franchise in America. They've been in the playoffs since I've been in Kindergarten. You can say what you want about the Yankees, but the Wings have developed better players and went from being a heavy-spending juggernaut to an organization that develops awesome players that play an amazing system. Darren McCarty, and Dallas Drake (who were signed as free agents), 9 of their 13 forwards who skated in this series came up in the organization. Also notable: they acquired Kris Draper for a dollar from the Winnipeg Jets. He won 15 of the 18 face offs he took tonight. DECENT.

*There is a 98.44% chance that this might be a facetious statement.

On a side note. This is interesting:

In sports that I somewhat care about:
My favorite NFL team: New York Giants (only because they have Eli Manning)
Super Bowl Champion: New York Giants

My favorite NHL team: Detroit Red Wings
Stanley Cup Champ: See above

Favorite MLB Team: The Chicago Cubs
World Series Champ: To be determined...
It might be, it could be... what a year if that happened.

Don't talk to me about College Football. Michigan is learning a new offensive system without a QB that fits the system. They lost a huge chunk of their offensive line, including one dick who defected to Ohio State because the new coaching staff cusses at him... and their top two receivers left early for the draft. They will be lucky to make it to a bowl game. Hell, they might even lose to Michigan State.

and a side-note to Tiger Woods, who said that nobody cares about Hockey anymore: at least Hockey is a real sport, you overpaid twit..

Michigan!

Congratulations!

I'm almost speechless about the whole delegate fiasco. I'm so proud that my home state is helping McCain get more votes by making the Clinton/Obama mudpit fight to the death go on even longer than it should and making both candidates look like dickheads to the general public.

You know, if everybody did what I said to do and voted for Dennis Kucinich this wouldn't be a problem.


At least the Red Wings are awesome... that is some small solace. How about 5-3 penalty kill by Zetterberg? Unbelievable.

oh wait nobody watches hockey anymore... your loss.

You can add "Treason" to one of the many crimes that our current President committed while in office. Scott McClellan's new book revealed that our leader knowingly endangered a life of an agent of the United States Government by leaking her name to the Press while she was on the field.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/05/29/mcclellans-biggest-revela_n_104082.html

[I'm a little late on this one, no big deal]

cable news*:

MORE YELLING
less reasoning

if you haven't seen this yet, it's great. long clip, skip ahead to the fourth minute for it to get really interesting:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/24655385#24655385
(for those of you keeping score at home, Chris Matthews asked him 28 times to answer his question before he admitted he didn't know**)

What's with this Keven James guy in the first place? Well, other than the whole "never trust a man with two first names" thing. I know he's a radio host so he's not used to having a camera stuck in his face, but he starts screaming and finger pointing beginning with his first sentence. He sounds like he should be on Cops playing an agitated crackhead rather than the "conservative to argue with the liberal" whenever the host needs "expert insight" into something. This isn't too bad, if all else fails I could work on my yelling ability and become an "expert conservative pundit" and declare that if you vote Democrat the terrorists and lazy welfare recipients win. Thankfully, voting records are confidential.

*this is also applicable for ESPN, which I do get on my basic cable. Fortunately I don't get any of these sleazy infotainment networks.
** I'm not that much of loser to keep count, I got that off of wikipedia... home to even bigger losers

yeah, so I think I forgot to mention I was in a car accident last month. Take my advice: if you ever have the opportunity to get rear ended by a semi, pass on it. I was nearing a toll booth about twenty miles south of Chicago and needed to get into the cash lane, somebody was letting me over and I was stopped because I was waiting for the traffic in front of me to move up to create space for me. As I was about to switch lanes-WHAM! I looked over at my Mom and said "that was totally not my fault." It took me forever when I dealt with the State Trooper... man he was a dick. I don't blame him; I'd be a miserable person too if I had a pockmarked face ridden with adult acne, a foot shorter than me, and had to wear such a silly looking hat all the time. He yelled at me when I approached him to hand him my information, kept interrupting me, and then told me I was at fault in the accident*. Did I mention I hate cops? My Mom drove home and I went to the Vicksburg ER, where the Doctor told me to wear a neck brace and I'll be fine in a week.

That was April 14th, today is May 17th and my back/neck still sucks. I can't even turn my neck to the left. I saw my family doctor two weeks ago and he was like "daaaang". He thinks I'll be alright in a couple months, but I have to go to Physical Therapy 3x a week, see my chiropractor 2-3x a week, and see my Doctor for a follow up.

*According to the State of Illinois, my insurance company, and the insurance company of the trucker, I was not at fault.

Uhhh, other than that my life is pretty boring. I wish I had a fast forward button, or could hibernate like a bear... man bears are awesome. Oh well, June is around the bend and camp is less than a month away. I'm planning on visiting my pops and checking out Lang's campus in NYC sometime that month.

Oh yeah, as of today I'm the only member of my family other than my Mom that doesn't have a Master's Degree. Man, I need to get a Juris Doctor or something to compensate.